


Bloody Knuckles

by Adaney



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, POV Original Female Character, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 07:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20991254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adaney/pseuds/Adaney
Summary: The minutes before a fight are a routine.





	Bloody Knuckles

**Author's Note:**

> Created: Nov 16, 2017
> 
> Written for a friend.

The minutes before a fight are a routine. I know what I'll have do when I step in the ring, and I know what I'm risking every time I do. I fight less for myself now than I ever have. I look at my opponents and I don't feel the anger that I used to; I look at them and don't see parts of myself to eradicate; I look at them and I don't see all the ways I could break a bone or tear off flesh--I see trolls fighting for something that I'm not.

I used to wrap my hands before fights, but now I don't. Dialus does it for me. She stands there while I sit on that shitty bench that's never been replaced, my leg bouncing with anxiety, and wraps my fists before kissing my knuckles.

Maybe it's her way of taking care of me but it sets me on edge every time. 

Every time I raise my fists at the beginning of a match I think of her. 

Every time when I throw my punches I think of her.

Every time she wraps my fists and sends me--lets me--into the ring I feel a loss.

Does she want me to stop? 

Does she want me to come home?

Does she really care about me?

Am I imagining it all?

Those are the kind of questions that make me indescribably sick. Those are the kinds of questions that leave me sprawled on the mat ears ringing and head swimming. 

I can't think straight.

I can't see straight with blood and sweat in my eyes.

My heart feels like it's about to explode and I'm running on autopilot. 

I slam my opponent's head into the cage again and again and again and I hear is the sound of my heartbeat and the ringing in my ears.


End file.
